Therapist

Finally got back to the therapist on saturday. There are things I just can't say without Kathy there to mediate, and it got a bit rocky there.

I was hard on her. She's been doing things to improve her health and preparation for a physical relationship, and told me about them, and I ignored them. I should have recognized their value.

At the same time, you can't spend all the time in preparation. Even if there are things she needs to do be ready for the kind of sex she wants to have, we shouldn't be sleeping in different beds (she's on the couch 19 nights out of 20 these days) and having no physical contact at all. Which is how things are, and it sucks.

We agreed, at the therapist, to have some kind of contact yesterday, Sunday. She spent the day in bed, and I felt like a rat reminding her of what she had agreed to. I don't like nagging about this. I don't like always always always being the one to start these conversations.

We've got another appointment next month. I'm feeling quite discouraged.