Monday, February 20, 2006

Well Spouse Association

I went to my first Well Spouse meeting. I left a little early from work (spending ten hours at the office instead of eleven+) and met some wonderful folks at a library about 45 minutes from home. I got to meet some wonderful people who really understand. I can't describe how wonderful that was. We traded stories and they nodded their heads a lot when I talked about some of the things that had happened.

Then, of course, I got home, after spending more than twelve hours out of the house. I didn't get read the riot act... no, I could deal with it if she were mad at me for leaving. "I just want to tell you that I felt kind of abandoned today. I'm not blaming you, I'm just telling you how I feel. I know that it was important for you to get out of the house."

Our son, it seems, had thrown a major fit, knowing that his mother wouldn't be able to discipline him. He threw things at her and there was a tussle.

From what I hear, she didn't handle the situation well, and the whole mess was as much her fault as his, but really, how can I say that?

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Goodbye, Roxicet

She's getting off the roxicet. For those of you who aren't in the pharmaceutical know, roxicet is an opiate painkiller. So that's good news, right?

Yes, in the long term. It's a milestone we've been working towards steadily.

In the short term, we're dealing with withdrawal. Which is an absolute bitch.

And starting tomorrow, I'm going to be working eleven hour days.

This is not going to be fun.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

That damned recliner

She slept on the recliner again last night. The injections she had in her spine yesterday were just too painful, and she had taken too much medication to be steady going up the stairs. I wasn't happy with the situation, but I know that it's temporary.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

A new procedure

She went to her spine specialist today to get steroids injected into the joint capsules of her lower spine.

This is a new procedure, and we're hoping that it will provide an opportunity for much needed healing.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

My valentine's day gift to my love

I wrote and recorded a sonnet for my wife, for Valentine's day. I also submitted it to the Valentine's day edition (episode #37) of the "He Said, She Said" podcast (you can get it at the link in the title) and they included it right at the end, just before the closing music.

Thanks, John and Jodie.

She listened to it just a little while ago, and told me through her tears how much she liked it. I don't think I've ever been able to touch anyone so deeply with a present before.

Oh, my GOD, an INCREDIBLE breakthrough.

I was listening to the Whispered Pearls podcast last night (link in the title) and in passing Michelle mentioned that she would never spend five minutes staring into the eyes of a total stranger... it was far too intimate an experience.

And my jaw hit the desk.

Of course.

We don't have to move. She can take whatever position is comfortable. And since it's not anything we have done in the past (at least, not since we were newlyweds) it's not in a path that would lead to anything more. (she doesn't want to 'make out' because she's worried I'd get worked up and then she'd feel guilty for not going further) It's perfect.

So we did it.

Last night, lying in bed, she and I just lay there and stared into each others eyes. There was a little talk, and a few smiles, but she didn't start giggling (like she thought she would) and I didn't get bored (like I feared I might) and it was a beautiful, intimate connection.

Just what I've been missing.

Michelle... you may not have known it, but you have given me the best Valentine's Day gift I have ever gotten.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Those little twinges

Ellie Lumpesse (link in the title) mentioned in her blog today that J (one of her lovers) is having trouble with penile chafing... due to having lots of sex.


Why do I torture myself like this?

Monday, February 06, 2006

MRI comes back: Ruptured disks

Well, the MRI came back... she has two ruptured disks in her neck. The problem isn't her back and never has been.

We're going to use traction for short-term relief and chiropractic for long-term correction. Hopefully this will result in some healing.