We went to a marriage therapist yesterday. It was the Weekend From Hell that prompted it, but it took a while for it to sink in with her before she agreed to it.
She uses "Imago Therapy" which takes the theory that we pick partners who are like our parents in order to resolve childhood conflicts... and thereby marry the person who is best able to hurt us.
Our first session involved gathering some basic information about our families, and then we immediately started a "mirroring" exercise. One person was the speaker, the other the mirror. The mirror's job was simply to repeat what the first person said.
We started with "What I think frustrates you about me is..."
After going through as many of these as I could think of, she filled in what I had missed with "What frustrates me about you is..."
Then we switched. It was vulnerable and empowering and scary and great.
We have some homework to do before our next session, some groundwork about what we want out of the therapy and what our childhood caregivers were like.
We go back in two weeks. I am very hopeful.
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