My New Year's Resolution this year is to stop enabling my wife's bad habits that are preventing her from getting the surgery she needs.
She doesn't get enough exercise and she doesn't eat right... and those rub off on me as well. We have two or three desserts a night, and I've been the one who was making them. Not anymore. I am making ONE dessert a night, and sharing it with the kids.
We are getting a membership to the local pool and I'm taking her swimming two mornings a week.
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Nobilis: We have somewhat the same situation here. My husband has become deaf, I yell a lot, am losing my voice (I am a professional concert singer) and he recently had back surgery. Getting him to wear hearing aids has been very hard. He has conditioned himself to his own world. Perhaps your wife has done the same. It's hard to break habits. Very hard. If you can make an environment around her that is healthy for all of you, she will be interested. Quit the deserts. I took up bellydancing the last two years and got in shape. Getting in shape made me interested in sex again, and here I am...beginning to write erotica. Surgery is scary only if we allow ourselves to think that it won't work. I don't know the extent of the disability involved...but suffering in pain and pain meds don't mean any quality of life. I finally had back surgery after 6 years of torment...and it was the best thing I could have done. I hope that she gets the support she needs to come to better health, and I know that you also need support. Do you have any access to therapy for this? It certainly helped us, we were only thinking in the box. Our lives are totally changing now...at least I am making the changes needed here for us. and perhaps the other half of me will wake up! My best to you and your wife...It is very hard. Life is hard. Blessings to you and your family. Betsy Steele
Thanks for your comment, Betsy. It's always good to hear from other folks in similar circumstances, it's good to know I'm not alone in dealing with problems like these.
Yes, we have access to therapy, but it's expensive and we can't go as often as we'd like. We've gone a few times and learned some things that have proven very useful.
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