Monday, December 19, 2005

Why do I torture myself?

Why do I do it? Why do I constantly go read sites like the Pixie at Play blog, or the Summer Camp novels, or the Whispered Pearls podcast, or anything else that keeps reminding me that other folks out there have healthy, happy, ACTIVE sex lives? Why don't I just turn into a prude and pretend that anyone who's having more fun than I am is sick? I'd probably be a lot happier.


Maybe it's because I want to maintain hope. Maybe I want to experience it vicariously.

Maybe I'm wallowing.


Pixie Puck said...

As much as sex is fun, I don't think it can hold a relationship together for good. I know you probablly don't want to hear this, but I know sex is only an added bonus.

Its the love and compassion that I am pretty sure that you have that makes the actual paycheck, metaphorically speaking.

Nobilis said...

Oh, no, I realize that.

In fact, if I *didn't* love her so much, this whole thing wouldn't be nearly so much of a problem.

As I've said before, I went for years with no sex and no hope for it. That was fairly easy to accept.